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Face mask making!! A family affair!! #AutisticallyArtistic and #Strongheartdesigns are making and selling handmade multi-layer (per CDC recommendations) facemasks!! Look at these young ladies go!! Cecelia (who is on the autism spectrum) and her baby sister Glenna have asked to … Continue reading
How are you surviving social isolation? We’re homeschooling or well isolation schooling as even Cecelia’s normal homeschool routine is on hold. For our household having a consistent schedule helps immensely. My girls adore checklists so we came up with our … Continue reading
Help out Autistically Artistic and the Strongheart family during this time of social isolation and canceled craft shows!! Enter to win a Bruni hat made by Cecelia!!!! Click the FB link below for details on how to enter!! 👇👇👇 https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=490110458536517&id=230531384494427?sfnsn=mo … Continue reading
Click the link below to enter!! https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2900887929995919&id=355068417911229?sfnsn=mo
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Greetings!! Wow it’s been forever since I’ve blogged!! Years!! Well we’ve been busy here in the Strongheart household!! The girls are growing. They even have their own business now!!! #AutisticallyArtistic #AutismAwareness #BuyLocal #proudASDmom They’re going to shows with me and … Continue reading
A little more than a year ago I started a new journey. Slowly at first. Unsure if this new path was what I wanted.
I did research, I had a friend /mentor encouraging me to step forward. Then in February of this year I was injured at work and stuck at home unable to work for 13 weeks. Having hyper extended my elbow and injured my neck and shoulder there wasn’t a whole lot I could do.
I did some more research. Talked to the State of Alaska. Took a few webinars. Then dove in and requested to take the test to become a Certified Care Coordinator.
I passed my first test but then had to complete the rest of the process. During this time my mentors plan to open her own care coordination agency and hire me didn’t work due to the insanely high cost of workers comp insurance.
So she came up with plan B. Which was to help me with the massive amounts of paperwork to start my own agency. After much discussion I agreed.
Hundreds of pages of paper later, policies and procedures, forms, regulations, licenses, etc….etc…etc….
I completed my application. I sent it to the State. I waited….and waited. I contacted them to see what was going on. They responded that there was a backlog, I shouldn’t expect a response until possibly around Christmas.
Oh backtracking a bit. After I finished teaching summer camp I resigned my teaching position stating I would not return in the fall. I’d been saving and budgeted to make it through November.
Now here it was the beginning of November and they’re telling me this might not happen until the end of the year. My resources were dwindling, I was trying not to panic.
I received an email from the state saying I needed to fix eight of my policies and submit proof of background checks for myself and backup care coordinator. That was another step I had to take was getting authorized to perform background checks.
I’ll admit I procrastinated a bit then. Things were going on at home, I was fighting a touch of depression and seeing this list of things I needed to address was overwhelming. I made an appointment with a counselor and found out I was being to hard on myself. I needed to just take a step at a time.
So with a plan made and after a necessary trip into Anchorage because my car had been recalled. I went back and looked at the letter with the list of necessary policy requirements.
I researched each one, read statues and wrote/rewrote the needed policies. Attached them and the back ground check info to an email and pressed send.
I posted on Facebook that I’d done it and now just had to sit and hurry up and wait. I expected the wait to be 30 or more days. I was determined not to stew about it.
It was like 15 minutes after I hit the send button that I received an email from the State saying NOT ONLY was I now a Certified Care Coordinator BUT ALSO my agency was certified too!!!
I was completely overwhelmed with emotion. I cried for half an hour because I was so happy and relieved. I DID it!!!
So now I’d like to take the time to….without further ado….introduce:
~~~~insert Applause here~~~~
If all goes as planned I will now spend my life….my job….helping families like mine. Assisting special needs children and families, Children with complex medical conditions, adults with disabilities, elders and assisted living.
My job will be advocating!!! Helping !!!! Does it get any better ??? Plus I’m my own boss and will be able to be here for my girls more!
Life. Is. Awesome.
Now I just need to get some clients and get to helping !!!!
This year Cecelia is participating in her first extra curricular activity: Youth Choir.
She had her first performance today at a Veterans program at the Kenai Senior Center.
She did AWESOMELY AMAZING!!!!
Here are videos of her singing . Enjoy !
So guess what? Go ahead and guess….you’ll never guess it!
Ready? ….I’m not! Cecelia has her first ever crush! On a boy in her PE, Music and library classes. It started last week, her aide noticed her staring at him during music and library. Then during PE she’s been trying to get his attention.
And how does Cecelia try to get his attention? She struggles with her social skills and has no impulse control when it comes to boundaries. So she tries to get him to give her compliments…. demands them I imagine.
For example: “Hi Daniel, look at Cece pretty dress. Daniel say Cece pretty dress!”
I guess Daniel is a sweetheart and very patient and understanding with Cecelia. Well he was until Cecelia decided he wasn’t paying enough attention to her yesterday so she threw a ball at him. Hitting him in the head.
So the teacher called me because she was not sure how to approach this. I told her I’d go talk with Cecelia’s Occupational Therapist. Which I did yesterday.
The plan is as follows:
1. Catch and praise Cecelia when she makes appropriate social interactions.
2. OT is making her a social story about boundaries.
3. We’ll each have a small (hand sized) laminated stop sign to act as a visual aide to reinforce our firm directions when asking her to stop or telling her NO! She’s agreeing to stop and then does things anyway.
4. Model exaggerated appropriate social interactions acknowledging boundaries.
5. Beat any boy with a stick that shows interest in my child.
6. Know that this day is coming for Glenna in the not too far off future so I may need to look into buying a shot gun!
7. Realize it’s okay to be pissed off at my husband for dying and leaving me to deal with this on my own!!!!!!!!!!!! Grrrrr
8. Acknowledge that my girls are growing up and I cannot stop it. Sigh
9. Repeat steps 1-8, educate all of Cecelia’s team on this plan (well steps 1-4 anyway)
10. Keep tabs and check in with the team to see how it’s going.
11. Ask for thoughts and prayers LOL
Anyone out there gone through this with their children on the spectrum? I’d love to hear what you went through and what you did to help your child.
It’s hard to believe that 6 years ago I was in horrible domestic violence relationship. My husband had died suddenly the year before and in my grief I let myself fall prey to an abusive man.
Things progressed quickly, the lies, deception, manipulation, power and control escalated silently. Hindsight is 20/20 I can look back and clearly see the abuse…the power and control building.
Isolation….manipulation….blaming….massive emotional abuse… financial abuse…spiritual abuse….physical abuse….child abuse….all done by him. I constantly walked on egg shells. I desperately tried to keep him happy so he wouldn’t hurt the girls. Because according to him I was responsible for his feelings and to keep him happy.
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A couple weeks ago I attended The Leeshore Center’s 40 hour Community Awareness Workshop for Domestic violence and Sexual assault. This Workshop is required in order to volunteer in the shelter and also for the Board of directors….I hope to do both.
It was a very hard week of training. Lots of triggers but lots of good information.
One thing we worked on was Safety Planning. We made up a sample safety plan. And tonight going through some old emails I found my safety plan from 6 years ago.
Here’s the email and template the King Salmon SAFE Shelter Advocate sent me:
KEEPING YOURSELF SAFE IS A PRIORITY!
Depending on the nature of the abuse, your safety plan may be as complex as an escape to another state with a new identity or as simple as going to the next room and closing the door.
The safety plan is much like an escape plan you make in case of a fire. It describes precisely what to do when you see the tension building or violence occur. The plan can include trusted people in your life, and you may want to share a copy of your safety plan with them.
SAFETY PLAN FOR VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
This is my plan for increasing my safety and preparing in advance for the possibility of further violence. Although I do not have control over my partner’s violence, I do have a choice about how to respond to him and how to best get myself and my children to safety.
My Important Telephone Numbers
Police: 911 and ______________ (Non-Emergency)
Domestic Violence Program/Safe Home: ______________
District Attorney’s Office ______________
SAFETY DURING AN ASSAULT
Women cannot always avoid violent incidents, but they can do a number of things to increase their safety during violent incidents.
I can do some or all of the following:
1. If I decide to leave, I can get out of the house by ________________________ (Practice how to get out safely. What doors or windows will you use?)
2. I can go to ________________________ (Decide this even if you don’t think there will be a next time.)
3. In order to be able to leave quickly, I can keep my purse and vehicle key ready by putting them ________________________
4. I can tell ________________________, (neighbors) about the violence and ask them to call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from the house.
5. I can teach my children how to use the telephone or radio to contact the police and to get help in an emergency.
6. I can use ________________________ as my code word with my children and/or friends when I am in danger, so they will call for help.
7. When I expect an argument, I can try to move to ________________________, a space near an outside door that has no guns, knives or other weapons (usually bathrooms, garages and kitchen areas are dangerous places.)
8. I can use my judgment and intuition. If the situation is very serious, I can give my partner what he wants to calm him down. I have to protect myself until I am out of danger.
9. I can call the police when it is safe, and I can get a protective order from the court.
SAFETY WHEN PREPARING TO LEAVE
Leaving must be done with a careful plan to increase safety. Batterers often strike back when they believe the woman is leaving the relationship.
1. So I can leave quickly, I can leave money, an extra set of keys, extra clothing and important documents with _________________
2. I can open a savings account to increase my independence by _________________
3. I can check with _________________ and _________________ to see who would be able to let me stay with them or lend me some money.
4. The National Domestic Violence Hotline number is 1-800-799-SAFEbegin_of_the_skype_highlighting 1-800-799-SAFE end_of_the_skype_highlighting (7233). By calling this free Hotline, I can get the number of a shelter near me.
5. I can rehearse my escape plan and, as appropriate, practice it with my children.
6. Other things I can do to increase my independence:
Checklist – What you may want to take with you, if it is safe to do so:
1. Identification
2. Address book
3. Money
4. Credit cards
5. Medications
6. Social Security Cards
7. Keys (house/car/work)
8. Welfare identification
9. Driver’s license/vehicle registration
10. Address book
11. Birth and marriage certificates
12. Checkbook, ATM card and other bank books
13. Work permit
14. School and vaccination records
15. Children’s birth certificates
16. Divorce papers
17. Copy of protective order
18. Passport
19. Pets (if you can)
20. Jewelry
21. Photo Album
20. Children’s special blanket, doll or stuffed animal
SAFETY IN MY HOME
There are many things that a woman can do to increase safety in her home. It may be impossible to do everything at once, but safety measures can be added step by step.
1. I can inform ___________________ that my partner no longer resides with me and they should call the police if he is seen at my residence.
2. I can change the locks on my doors and windows as soon as possible.
3. I can replace wooden doors with steel/metal doors.
4. I can install security systems including additional locks, window bars, poles to wedge against doors, an electronic system, etc.
5. I can purchase rope ladders to be used for escape from second floor windows.
6. I can install smoke detectors and purchase fire extinguishers for my home.
7. I can install an outside lighting system that lights up when a person is coming close to my house.
8. I can teach my children how to use the telephone, in case my partner takes them, to make a collect call to me and ___________________ (friend/advocate/minister/other.)
9. I can tell people who take care of my children which people have permission to pick up my children and that my partner does not have permission. The people I will inform about this are:
___________________________ (school)
___________________________ (day care)
___________________________ (babysitter)
___________________________ (teacher)
___________________________ (others)
SAFETY WITH A PROTECTIVE ORDER
Protective orders are available from the court. An advocate is available at the nearest domestic violence/sexual assault program to help you get one. Many batterer’s obey protective orders, but some do not.
I understand that I may need to ask the police and the courts to enforce my protective order. I can do some or all of the following to increase my safety:
1. I can keep a copy of my protective order with me at all times.
2. I can check with my local police department to make sure my protective order is on record with them. If not, I will give a copy of my protective order to them. I will also give a copy of my protective order to police departments in the community where I work and in those communities where I usually visit family or friends.
3. I can tell my employer, my domestic violence program advocate, my minister, my closest friend, and _____________________ that I have a protective order in effect.
4. If my partner destroys my protective order, I can get another copy from the court-house by calling _____________________
5. If my partner violates the protective order, I can call the police and report a violation, call my attorney, call an advocate at a domestic violence program, and/or advise the court of the violation.
SAFETY ON THE JOB AND IN PUBLIC
Each battered woman must decide for herself if and when to tell others about the violence. Friends, family and co-workers can help to protect her, and she needs to consider carefully who to ask for help.
I can do any or all of the following:
1. I can tell my boss, the security supervisor and _____________________ at work of my situation.
2. I can ask __________________ to help screen my telephone calls at work.
3. When I leave work, I can walk with __________________ to my car or the bus stop. I can park my car where I will feel safest getting in and out of the car.
4. When traveling home if problems occur, I can __________________
5. I can use different grocery stores, shopping malls, and banks to shop and do business at hours that are different from those I used when residing with my battering partner.
6. I can also __________________
SAFETY AND DRUG OR ALCOHOL USE
Many people use alcohol and drugs. Using illegal drugs and abusing alcohol can be very hard on a battered woman physically and emotionally, and may hurt her relationship with her children and put her at a disadvantage in court. Beyond this, the use of alcohol or other drugs can reduce a woman’s awareness and ability to act quickly to protect herself from her battering partner. Therefore, in the context of drug or alcohol use, a woman needs to make specific plans.
If drug or alcohol use has occurred in my relationship with my partner, I can enhance my safety by doing some or all of the following:
1. If I am going to use, I can do so in a safe place and with people who understand the risk of violence and are committed to my safety.
2. If my partner is using, I can __________________________________
3. To safeguard my children, I can __________________________________
4. I can also __________________________________
Whenever I feel others are trying to control or abuse me:
5. I can read _________________ to help me feel stronger.
6. I can call _________________, _________________, and _________________ as other resources to be of support to me.
7. I can attend workshops and support groups at the domestic violence program or _________________ to gain support and strengthen my relationships with other people.
8. Other things I can do to help me feel stronger are: __________________________________
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It’s hard to believe that this was part …no…all of my life 6 years ago. My life was consumed with DV.
If posting this can help one person then…sigh…
I escaped, I survived, I saved myself and my children. Even though it was compounded by the fact that I had a special needs child.
Please if you’re in an abusive relationship ….especially if you have children….you’re stronger than you realize. You too can escape…ask for help.
It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but unimaginably rewarding.
Did you know I have a store! Everything is hand made by me. Come look around! I make traditional Yup’ik kuspuks both in cotton and fleece. I’ve got hats.
I take custom orders on everything including beadwork. So come shop now before the holiday rush!!!!
Click here: STRONGHEART DESIGNS
https://www.etsy.com/listing/479122787/beautiful-traditional-yupik-womens-size
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Hard to believe that my girls is 9 years old now. Â Her birth is still vivid in my mind. I recall how proud her daddy was even though he was in a bit of a panic. 9 years ago…sigh…. Here’s … Continue reading
What an amazing day! My summer camp class got to go on a field trip to Seward for a Kenai Fjords cruise. We had a blast.
Here pictures in random order. Sorry some are side ways I’m still learning how to use my Surface Pro 4. Continue reading
Does it get any better?
One….
Back home in Nunam Iqua. ..well on the Yukon in general (I think it’s safe to say).
Memorial Day is also a day to go out to the burial sites and check on the graves of those we love.
Keep in mind we do not bury our dead as there is only tundra. Their graves are “placed” and checked on and cared for throughout the years.
While we’re not able to make the trip to do this other family members were.
Rest in Peace, My love. We love and miss you dearly. The girls have been asking lots about you lately! I hope we’re making you proud! Love you!
We’ve been enjoying the amazing weather this week. I’ve been teaching the girls how to fish and hunt for mushrooms and just a whole lotta exploring since we have Percy now.
Here’s a few pics of this past week.
Our Mother’s day weekend….
So being a parent you hear and say all kinds of things from/to your children.
There are those scary times when you hear nothing and go see what’s going on. Or you hear way too many giggles which is also suspect of child mischief.
There are many times that you have to keep a straight face but can’t. Or simply have to walk away so they cannot see the fit of giggles you’re desperately trying to hide.
This week is off to a great start for such moments here in the Strongheart household.
Cecelia and Glenna asked how old they have to be before they can wear make up. I replied 16.
They heard 60! Who am I to correct this? I don’t wear it….don’t even own any so 60 seems totally acceptable to me. Maybe I’ll have to wear some when I turn 60 to drive that point home?
Glenna keeps asking if we can have “ass grass” and “achokes” for dinner. (Asparagus and artichokes)
I was cleaning up after dinner and kept hearing fits of giggles coming from the living room. This is what I found
They were listening to each other’s tummies digesting dinner.
Glenna still gets “duck bites” (goose bumps) whenever she gets cold.
Cecelia was insanely excited Saturday when we went to the movies because now with her glasses she can actually see the screen. She exclaimed “MOM! I just LOVE my glasses!”
They love each other so much.
Don’t get me wrong it’s not all mispronounced words and cute photo opportunities. They fight and argue and torment each other also.
Sometimes I even notice Cecelia doing things just to piss her sister off. And vice versa.
Last night we had a pretty exciting first here. Cecelia asked for something. ..I don’t recall what. I said no and she asked “Why?” She’s never done that before!
There’s arguments, giggles, yelling, mischievous whispering. They make me smile every day.
So remember if we ever meet in real life it’s 60! Ass grass! And duck bites!
LOL Just had to share these…they’re too good to not share.
I treated the girls to a ride on the Easter Train. We had a blast! Followed by a night at a hotel with an evening in the pool & hot tub. Might have to do another train event in the future. ..that was fun!
Waiting to go on the train
All aboard!
Eek the Easter Bunny!
Cecelia won the color contest
Glenna won the coloring contest
Well earned peach sangria after a successful day!
A Strongheart Moment 