Minty Fresh Poop and other funnies

As a parent or anyone that has ever been around children you know that everyday is an entertaining yet learning experience for not only a child but also for you too!  Remember when you were growing up and you thought “When I have kids I am never going to do/say that!” be it the ever popular phrase “Because I said so!”, or  “I hope someday you have children just like you!” you just vowed not to do/say it when you grew up.  But alas we grow up and have kids and catch ourselves doing/saying those very things, among others.

They happen before you even realize it.  Then afterwards you sit there shaking your head saying to yourself “Did I really just say that?”.  Not only do we find ourselves saying things we thought we never would but also we see our children doing and saying things that are immensely amusing.  Things that you have to correct while at the same time trying to NOT burst into a fit of giggles in front of them.

I thought I’d share some of my funny moments with you and I also invite you to share some in the comments if you so desire.  At the very least we will all get a good laugh out of it 😉  Enjoy!

Things I’ve said or learned as a parent….

NO!!  We can’t PET the fish! (see my last post about our “Pet” fish LOL)

Do not stuff your sister in the toy box and sit on the lid!! That is NOT okay!

The potty seat is NOT a hat!!  Yucky! Take it off your head!

We do NOT color the TV! Crayons are for paper ONLY!

NO! We do not put coins in the oven/dishwasher vents/slots!!!

Toys do not belong in the dishwasher/refrigerator/washing machine etc!

Orange peels belong in the garbage NOT behind the couch!

Be prepared to be scared when you clean under your couch!  The things you may find will boggle your mind!!

Remember kids will stick there fingers in any hole they find and non stick spray, liquid soap or cold water works wonders when extracting them!

Cardboard boxes can bring days of entertainment.  The bigger the better!

Freshly bathed children will attract all matters of goo!

Applesauce, yogurt, ketchup, pudding, etc. does NOT make good hair gel!

In the time it takes to make the bed your child can empty an entire tube of toothpaste into the lid of your deodorant very stealthly in the bathroom!

Food always tastes better if it comes from Mommy’s plate even if it’s exactly the same as what is on your child’s plate!

Anything that comes out of a child will not hurt them going back in!  (I was assured of this by a doctor after my oldest daughter, who is now 14, got poop in her hand and then into her mouth when I was changing her diaper!)

A Mr. Clean Magic Eraser truly must have magic in it because they will get just about anything off walls/doors/tables etc!

It takes 6 wash cycles to completely rinse out the 1/2 bottle of laundry detergent your child poured in the washer when they were “helping”! But boy were those clothes clean!!

The operators at the Poison Control Center are very nice!

Cats do not like to ride in play shopping carts!  But eventually will just give up the fight and start sleeping there!

Learning what a trash can is for can be both a good and a bad thing!  (Thankfully you can get a 4 pack of replacement spoon or forks at Walmart for only 97 cents!)

Play doh sticks to windows and your child can make pretend airplanes that look like they’re flying in the clouds when stuck to the window!

When you baby is learning to talk they say the funniest things!!  Especially before they can say consonant combinations!  You will hear things like “I suck Mom!” (stuck), “I sink Mom!” (stink), etc.

There is no greater joy in life than when you child comes up to you and asks for a hug/kiss and says “I love you”!

I could go on and on with this list but I will stop now.  I will finish with one final lesson I’ve learned, which explains the title of this post….

When your toddler manages to sneak from your purse and consume an entire pack of winterfresh gum the next day their poops will be Minty Fresh!!!  (So much for the ol’ wives tale about gum staying in your system for 7 years LOL)

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About annstrongheart

About me...hmmm where to start. I'm a proud single/widowed mom of two beautiful girls who currently works full time for the local Tribe. Life. Is. AWESOME!
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