So where’d we leave off? hmm oooh ok so the Shelter Advocate had brought us to the Domestic Violence Shelter in the Naknek/King Salmon area….
First let me say that this was by far the nicest d.v. shelter I had ever stayed in. It was a one-bedroom furnished apartment that they let us move into. It had a washer/dryer, dishwasher, internet access, cable t.v. and phone. We moved in with a limited amount of our belongings planning to get the rest in the next few days.
The next day I went back to not only get our belongings but also to return his van. I had sent a txt message before we went informing him that I would be returning to get my things. As was usual for him he had turned his cell phone off and didn’t get the message. He was there when we got there but refused to come to the door. I could see through the door that he was still in bed. I pounded on the door and he just kept yelling to go away.
The advocate suggested that we call the police department. I agreed and she called and the chief of police came out. He asked me if there were any weapons in the house and I informed him that there was atleast one rifle that I knew of. The chief instructed us stay back behind the vehicles and then he proceeded up to knock on the door. He was also ignored. He announced that who he was and asked to come in. The ex told him to go away.
The chief came over to talk to us and suggested that we might need to get a court order. Sigh… really?? Of course because this was just another example of power and control as I talked about HERE!
So off we go to the court house. I fill out the necessary paperwork to request a Writ of Assistance in the mean time I am not sure what was going on but somehow the police were in contact with him. I don’t know if he called them or what exactly happened but he informed the police that he would be out of the house the next day and I could collect our belongings then.
So I did, the next day the advocate and I went there and packed everything up. I was on pins and needles; trying to not have a panic attack. On the way to the house we went by his work and I saw his truck there and I was convinced that he was going to show up and try to talk to me.
Part of me was scared because of the activities of the day before because the police had gotten involved nothing had ever been “violent” between us and his resistance to let me get our belongings had me confused. More evidence of power and control and abusive behavior. The girls were at the shelter with a sitter and when the advocate and I went to leave I was going to drive my 4-wheeler back to the shelter. In the midst of all of this and me being a nervous bundle of nerves… I had forgotten the 4-wheeler keys at the shelter.
So we went back to the shelter and unloaded her truck. I talked to the sitter and she said that she could watch the girls for awhile longer so I got the 4-wheeler keys and went back. This was a couple days before Halloween of last year, 2010. It was cold! We got back to his house and I donned my wintergear and started the 4-wheeler and off I went.
I drove approximately 15 miles that day on my 4-wheeler. It was one of the most freeing moments of my life. Not only was I nervous and scared but also I was empowered, I was free! I would like to be able to say that that was the beginning of a new life but it wasn’t.
Did you know that according to statistics it takes a woman seven (7) tries to leave a domestic violence situation? Don’t worry I didn’t use all seven but….
To be continued… 😉
Here is a poem I wrote about leaving Violet (my 4-wheeler behind)
Good Bye Violet!
The time it has come to say good bye
You were the last gift that I received from, Segundo, my guy
To us you were good, taking us here and there
But unfortunately you just can’t go everywhere
So behind you must stay a new home you have found
Be good to them too and keep your wheels on the ground
So long my purple friend, you I will surely miss
So as you were driven away I blew my last kiss
Good bye and good luck
take care and don’t get stuck!!
For if you do it is a pain in the @$$
To get you unstuck, so be good my dear lass!